Browsing through my facebook I see people posting statuses, writing on people’s walls with the acronym “TBH.” I was first unsure as to what they mean but come to find out they stand for “To Be Honest.” This sparked an idea. I’ve decided to write some “To Be Honest” posts to share some things that about me. Since today is National Honesty Day I thought of no better day than today to start this. So here it goes….
To be honest, my daily walk with the Lord is neither what I want it to be nor what it should be. When I first got started in a daily quiet time, in my teen years, it took some work to get the routine going. Once it started it changed my life in so many ways. Seeing the changes it made in my life and the closeness I felt to my Lord and Savior I strived to continue to do to it every day. Things were going pretty smoothly until I moved back to the states and went to Bible College. Now you would think that going to Bible College would strengthen my relationship and improve my walk with God but for me it seemed to have a reverse affect.
I grew up in a Christian family, went to church every Sunday and lived overseas as a missionary with my family, but the year I went to Bible College it seemed my view on the Christian world was shattered. No, I’m not saying that I started to doubt God but I did start to question people. While at school I was surrounded by people who called themselves Christians and I’m sure many of them were. They would read their Bibles, discuss scripture passages amongst themselves, pray for each other for every event that came by and yet in my eyes I saw it all as a show. They did all these things yet I saw what went on behind closed doors, things they said and how they treated me. This started my doubt in people. Leaving college many challenges followed me that again hindered me in my walk. Ever since then I’ve had this great struggle. Slowly but surely, improvements have been made. Relationships with people and with God have been mended. Though my walk is still not where I want it to be and I still struggle with it, I’m happy to see and know there has been major improvement from what it used to be.